I haven’t drawn many things lately. But these days I’ve been feeling the itch more and more.
Let’s see for how long I will ride this out.
I haven’t drawn many things lately. But these days I’ve been feeling the itch more and more.
Let’s see for how long I will ride this out.
Επιτέλους, έπεσε το ίντερνετ.
Αν κρατήσει αυτό για λίγους μήνες πιστεύω θα έχω παίξει όσα παιχνίδια έχω στη λίστα μου, θα έχω διαβάσει όλα τα βιβλία που θέλω, θα έχω βελτιώσει κατά πολύ τις ζωγραφικές μου ικανότητες, θα έχω ερωτευτεί μια κοπέλα που θα γνωρίσω στο πάρκο που θα πήγαινω για τρέξιμο, τα μαλλιά της, στο χρώμα του μελιού, θα μυρίζουν βανίλια και θα έχει βγάλει βόλτα ένα ζωηρό λαμπραντοράκι που θα πλέκει το λουρί του γύρω από τα πόδια της….
Κάτσε, τι έλεγα;
Α, ναι, το ίντερνετ πάει λοιπόν. Αυτό βέβαια δε θα το διαβάσετε αν το ίντερνετ δεν ξανάρθει, αλλά το ίντερνετ θα έρθει αύριο. Σίγουρα, μα αφού αυτό μας είπαν και χτες. (Σαν ποίημα του Καβάφη, η έργο του Μπέκετ πω πω τα λογοτεχνικά namedrops). Οπότε για σας τους αναγνώστες αυτό το κείμενο θα υπάρχει στην σφαίρα της γνώσης σας μόνο στη περίπτωση που ξανάρθει το ίντερνετ και δεν γίνουν όλα αυτά που περιγράφω. Η δικιά σας επιπόλαιη και εφήμερη αναγνωστική ευχαρίστηση αντιμάχεται την δικιά μου αναζήτηση για ευτυχία γεμάτη, δε σας βρίσκω ξηγημένους.
Έχει κάποιο θέμα τελικά αυτό το post; Ή σαν μια πολύ προφανής αναλογία με τη ζωή είναι απλά μια σειρά από αποφάσεις, σπρωξίματα τα της τύχης και των άλλων ανθρώπων, το μόνο νόημα του αυτό που του δίνουμε στο νεκροκρέβατο (ή στη τελευταία παράγραφο, για όσους χάσανε την αναλογία) , έτσι για να μη νομίζουμε ότι θα τελειώσουν όλα χωρίς κάποιο λόγο.
Γιατί άραγε έχουμε ανάγκη ένα νόημα σε αυτά που κάνουμε;
Γιατί θέλουμε έναν Θεό, μια ιδεολογία, κάτι που να μας λέει ότι αυτά που κάνουμε αποσκοπούν σε κάτι έξω από τους εαυτούς μας;
Τόσο πολύ φοβόμαστε το ότι είμαστε μόνοι και πως είτε ανατινάξουμε ένα ορφανοτροφείο ανήμερα Χριστουγέννων είτε κάνουμε κάθε παιδάκι χαρούμενο, για το σύμπαν είναι το ίδιο πράγμα;
Τα άλλα ζώα δε χρειάζονται κάτι τέτοιο. Που τώρα που το σκέφτομαι τα άλλα ζώα τουλάχιστον προσφέρουν πολύ πιο πολύ από εμάς στην συντήρηση του τωρινού οικοσυστήματος, αν μη τι άλλο (έτσι γράφεται αυτό;) είναι ένας σχετικά αξιέπαινος λόγος ύπαρξης. Σχετικά.
Μεγάλο θέμα ανοίχτηκε, αλλά δε φοβάμαι, θα γράψω τα απομνημονεύματά μου σε offline αρχεία, κρατώντας τα για την στιγμή που θα μπορέσω να ξαναμπώ στο απύθμενο κοινό νου τον ανθρώπων, έχω χρόνο.
Πέρα από τα αστεία, που πολύ αμφιβάλω αν ήταν αστεία, τα μη σοβαρά έστω, κοίτα να δεις ένα πράγμα, λίγο έπεσε το ίντερνετ και έχω γράψει σχεδόν μια σελίδα.
Ντάξει δεν είναι και ότι καλύτερο έχει γραφτεί το τελευταίο λεπτό , αλλά είναι μια φάκιν προσπάθεια στο κάτω κάτω. Έχω ακόμα το δώρο του qb μέσα σε ένα γυάλινο ντουλαπάκι, secret, safe, για όταν υπάρξει η απόλυτη ανάγκη, στιγμές σαν αυτές όμως με κάνουν να νομίζω ότι δεν είναι θέμα ανάγκης, αλλά όρεξης για αλλαγή. Η οποία όρεξη υπάρχει μεν, αλλά την πνίγει μια πολύ δυνατή αντιπάθεια για αλλαγές και βελτίωση.
Πού θα πάει αυτή η βαλίτσα, θα φτάσουμε σε ένα σημείο οπού το να είμαστε συνδεδεμένοι θα είναι τόσο σημαντικό όσο το νερό και το ρεύμα; (δεν είναι ήδη;)
Θα υπάρχουν εγκλήματα που οι ποινές τους θα είναι αντίστοιχες. Η μεγίστη των οποίων θα είναι ο δια βίου αποκλεισμός από το ίντερνετ. Θα αφήνει τους ανθρώπους κουφάρια, ανήμπορους να συνεννοηθούν και να λειτουργήσουν στον “πολιτισμένο κόσμο” όπως ο Case από το Neuromancer.
Θα είναι όμως αυτή λύση;
Μήπως έτσι θα δημιουργηθούν ομάδες απελευθερωμένων ανθρώπων, που θα διαβάζουν βιβλία σε παγκάκια δίπλα σε φθινοπωρινές παραλίες, θα βγαίνουν για χορό σε ταράτσες παίζοντας μουσική σε αυτοσχέδια όργανα, θα πηγαίνουν για πάρτυ με φαναράκια σε δάση το βράδυ.
Θα γελάνε με το σύστημα που θεώρησε τιμωρία να τους χαρίσει την ελευθερία τους.
Βέβαια χωρίς το Facebook σιγά μην καταφέρουν να συνεννοηθούν…
To internet ξαναήρθε, για να το γιορτάσουμέ πάρτε ένα τραπέζι, κέρασμένο απο το Google image search.
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 2014 (not the month) be a prosperous year full of ladies, guys, drinks, health, video games and everything else.
I spent the hours of 2014 in a very nice and groovy party, hosted by the Athens mistress of parties, Marianthi. She really organizes awesome parties, whether they’re 90iles parties or New Years, Birthdays, you name it. If you want a kick-butt party, Marianthi is your gal.
During that party qb and I decided to do a podcast, a documentation of our thoughts, feelings and rants.
Now you can enjoy 26 minutes and change, of our Party Experience in audio form. With the help of technology, money and booze.
I present you qb’s second episode of the qbdp podcast:
Grab some booze, put some headphones on, dim the lights, turn on some strobe lights and enjoy…
The Party Experience:
Also available in it’s owner’s blog, click these words.
Well, 25 years old.
I am not known to enjoy getting old, truth be told I have often exaggerated when expressing my discontent for my birthdays, acting more grumpy than I actually am is something that comes easily to me.
And it is true, I am fully aware that everyday that passes is a day closer to the day I die, but it doesn’t bother me as much as I let it seem to be.
To be honest, I feel pretty okay about getting old, I feel like I am improving every year, ever so slightly. Learning, having new experiences and discovering more of the world and myself.
So if growing old is the price for growing wiser, I am quite okay with that.
I am not worried by time passing, I am worried by time wasted.
And I do feel that I am wasting my time, or at least not using it as best as I can.
It’s part of the game I guess, perhaps everybody feels the same way, but I am trying to waste less time.
But I wouldn’t mind immortality.
25 years… 9,131 days alive.
It has been quite a good life so far. With great parents, good friends, lot’s of gadgets, games, books, movies, rain and happy moments. There weren’t any serious illnesses or hardship, no tragic stories to speak of.
I do feel lucky and am happy for that.
So what would I like for this this next year of my life?
Well… if it all goes well, my next birthday I will be writing somewhere very much non-Greece-y.
Might that be Scotland? The Netherlands? Could I be studying in a Master’s Degree?
Will I have a job? Will I have a girlfriend? Will she be hot? Will I be rich? Will I be famous?
Will I be writing here still? Will my writing skills have improved? How about my drawing skills?
Who knows? That is why growing up is exciting.
Time will tell, and as long as time tells more good stuff than bad, I will be happy to grow old.
Here’s to 26.
I’ve been here before. I’ve walked this road. (+)
I am not doing much with my life these days, I can barely muster enough energy every day to do a small percentage of my “Apply to the damn MA programme” quest.
Granted I was leading the Celts to a path of glory through the millennia, fighting and outsmarting the Babylonians and trying to create a dominant culture and win the hearts and minds of the world.
World domination aside,I am not doing much,and I know what follows next. A pledge.
And this is a pledge of sorts, very much like the pledge that spawned this here webzone. I am not posting it on the Journal , I believe it is more fitting here.
First of all let me just say, I have this knee jerk reaction against any form of self-improvement, I think it is because admitting you want to improve would imply admitting you are not content with the how you are now.
I “know” this is not reasonable, but that knowledge is not enough for me not to have that reaction.
But despite my acknowledgement of that reaction, I rarely do anything about it.
This is not one of these times though. I feel the bubbling urge to do something and change certain aspects of my daily life in order to improve my monthly life.
I could describe what I would like to do in an ideal week, it would involve daily exercise, drawing and maintenance of this site, but I feel bad talking about things that turn out to be nothing more than a what if.
I know it is possible, but…
Sigh… I am almost ready to change my mind on this, second day of writing tends to do that.
Anyway, enough beating around the bush (har har, you don’t know that it is a pun yet) here comes the pledge.
Okay, here it goes. I am starting the NoFap thing…
Yes ladies and gentlefolk, I am that desperate for motivation, I will not go into detail about my wanking timetable cause I feel uncomfortable talking about icky stuff like that, but I am at a point where I would rather try something that might not work than not trying something that would work.
I will not set additional goals for a variety of reasons, chief of which is to see if I am actually getting any additional “energy”. If I see any improvement , I will share my findings here.
Will this be an embarrassing attempt to do something that could be accomplished by just “getting of my ass and doing something!”?
I honestly don’t know.
But just to be safe, I should make another post quickly so that this is not the first thing my numerous visitors see when the enter the Attic.
I saw the Day of the Doctor 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who the other day and felt like sharing my tuppence about it.
I think I first watched Dr. Who after I had finished Buffy when I was in search of another big sprawling show I can dive into. Before that it was only something that my father mentioned that “He watched occasionally when he was studying in Manchester and that it starred Tom Baker”.
I was initially pleasantly surprised by how epic and goosebump inducing the episodes where and for a while I thought I found my next favourite show.
The doctor was interesting, smart, had hot companions and a uniquely cool persona that, admittedly, I have not found in any other show.
Plus, I felt cool watching a popular Brit “sci-fi” show that at the time nobody seem to knew about.
But then things started to fall apart. The doctor was cool and badass, but it seemed like that was his mode of operation. All the time. Cool as fuck. Every day. Yawn.
Most episodes would start with a cool premise, granted, and then all hell would break loose and the stakes would be raised and then…
…the Doctor would come up with some brilliant, non-violent, extremely convoluted way and very poorly explained solution (with techno-babble that makes Star Trek sound like it was written by Stephen Hawking) that will save everything and kill nobody and probably making him look even more awesome and cool while doing so.
Don’t get me wrong that is not bad , especially for climaxes, but when it happens every time, the impact is lessened with each episode.
It is the same problem I have with superhero comics. Batman , for example, is unable to surprise and ,as a result, engage me anymore. I know he is brooding, I know he will always be one step ahead of everybody else, I know that he is prepared for everything, I know he has a thing for Robin and Cat-woman, I know he will always win in the end, therefore Batman is boring.
I feel very similarly for the Doctor.
I can’t even remember how many times I’ve seen an episode where the Doctor has saved the world. saved the universe, saved all of time and space, saved a galaxy or a planet. It is a real shame when you make something that is supposed to be special and climactic, mundane and boring. Perhaps we are asking too much from kid’s programs.
Another very reasonable and extremely well put argument about Doctor Who that delves deeper on the subject of the weird deification of our , let’s be honest, simplistic childhood heroes, be it the Doctor or Winnie the Pooh, Batman or the Transformers into something more than what they are, is made by the brilliant David Mitchell and you can watch it by clicking these words.
But it is the Doctor’s 50th anniversary, so let’s forget all that negative stuff, lets wrap ourselves in huge scarves, wear the fezzes and sing-along the opening tune.
As a tribute I will list everything I like about this show.
1) The Doctor really is a pacifist.
Many heroes claim to be fighting the for the “Good Guys”.
Of course this claim is often brought into question when our main hero is
beating up the “Bad Guy’s” until their faces are blue.
And I am not one to criticize an anti-hero, but I keep thinking about Superman,the American version
of a pacifist, who will not kill, sure, but he can beat people to a pulp and destroy buildings
every other day. Then he has his “Superman turns evil” stories every Friday.
Doctor Who on the other hand, is a pacifist through and through.
It doesn’t feel like he is “not allowed” to kill.
He has killed.
And that is the reason he doesn’t want to kill anymore.
Not because the writers want to market his stories to kids.
So yea, the Doctor basically kicks Superman’s ass when it comes to pacifism.
(But Jean Luc Picard is better than both. That though, is a story to be told in another post…)
2) The Doctor is very British, but just enough.
The Doctor manages to be the quintessential eccentric British aristocrat. He is an adventurer,
a scholar and a gentleman. He has a refined taste and a very British (as far as I can tell)
outlook on things. At the same time the show has this global, nay, universal feel to it. The
Doctor might prefer Britain, sure, but he seems to enjoy himself on every planet and time he
ends up at. This show could have been a completely British thing.
Instead it is just British enough for Brits to feel proud about it, but also accessible by people
all over the world. That is something.
3)That goosebump moment.
Yes, the explanation might be paper thin, yes the “awesomeness out of nowhere” of the third
act might be as predictable as the bloody tides, but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel a tingling
sensation,despite my rational mind trying to hold me back, when the Doctor finally comes up
with a brilliant idea and announces it to all the bad guys that are stunned by his
awesomeness in a speech usually ending with a masturbatory :
“… cause I am THE DOCTOR”.
This show knows how to thrill, provided you don’t think about it too much.
4) It is mature on the things that matter most.
Last but not least I like the way that the show deals with issues that would make any similar
American show quiver in it’s homophobic cowboy boots. Take for example the character of
Jack Harkness, played by John Barrowman, an immortal time traveller, who in a way that is
very true to his character, is not very fussy about with whom he dances with.
By that obviously I mean that he will have sex with anything and anyone.
And he is not some silly comic-relief sidekick, his pansexuality is a core element of how cool
this character is.
Captain Jack Harkness is one of the badassiest badasses in the history of badasses, one of
the few characters on the show that often outshine the Doctor himself.
So yes, these are my , mixed I admit, feelings about Doctor Who.
It is cheesy, it is dumb.
It has a continuity that is as solid as Adventure Time’s and it is often too stuck up it’s own ass to actually come up with new, exciting ideas.
But when it does come up with the right ideas… oh boy is it exciting.
Episodes like The Empty Child and Blink are , as far as I am concerned, artistic masterpieces.
Right up there with The Body and Conversations With Dead People from Buffy, The Best of Both Worlds from The Next Generation and every Firefly episode.
So, in conclusion, I am glad Doctor Who is still around.
All the annoying things that might turn me off, often for long periods of time, are still there, but that does not change the fact that Doctor Who is a unique show, with it’s heart in the right place, and like all unique things, the world would be a duller place without it.
Long live the Doctor.
I am not very familiar with making time-lapse videos. Even though I find them fascinating.
So today I decided to start making a few, the first one of which you can see above these words. (Disable adblock or whatever might prevent embedding).
It is crudely made and I would like to make more of them, especially creepy ones.
It would be nice if some of the posts on the Attic were a bit more personal in nature. Not in the Journal way , but in a more introspective fashion. Garret talking about Garret sort of deal. I find hard explaining how I feel and think most of the time and it is something I wish to work on improving.
I don’t know how exactly to start, but the internet says that I should start with what I know, and gradually move out of my comfort zone.
Without further ado, I would like to introduce:
Hopefully a regular thing here.
I like drawing. I am not as good at it as I would want, mostly due to a lack of practice, but I always enjoy having a fresh sketchpad nearby and holding a pencil in my hand feels good. I often find myself doodling during load times, times of idleness in front of a screen and while waiting to respawn in League of Legends (not that I die often, I am the best Lady of Luminosity out there!).
It usually takes me about a month to fill up an A4 page with doodles, so I tend to have these weird doodle-tapestries that, with my zero expertise on anything psychological, think that reflect my mood and state of mind during that month.
So let’s look at the first of these, my doodle page for October, different points of interest numbered for your convenience:
1: Well there, October certainly seems to be a “Legs and Feet” month. I don’t think I have a particular fascination with the lower half of the body, but it does feel good drawing it. Few elegant “swishy” lines and you have yourself a nice pair of legs, a few criss-crossed lines and you also have a quite stylish set of fishnets.
Feet are not that easy, as can be seen written in the lower right, repeated like a madman’s scrawlings on the cell wall.
I guess that doesn’t make my “doesn’t have a thing for feet” case any stronger.
I don’t know what the patterns or the use of blue means. Green is much better, but there was a blue marker lying around quite often during October.
2: But look! Not only is he obsessed with feet and legs but he also has a morbid fascination with bones, bandages and spiderwebs.
Also note the flaming outline of the central leg figure, you know the one with the bone sticking out. Come to think of it, this is not a spine. What was I thinking…?
3: A nice bunch of seaweed.
Above that, the names of three YouTubers I follow that have had a “crisis” and gone off the grid for a while. Hutch was the first I watched and the reason I got into Call of Duty, but recently Necroscope86 has become the channel I watch more often. The first video of him I saw was a Let’s Play of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, a game namedropped in a Yahtzee and Gabe Let’s Play. Oh, the chain of references.
4: I could never draw animals very well, I find the front part to be equally hard. I kinda like this doodle though. It’s a hippomantis. Well, half a hippomantis anyway.
5: This is my first attempt to see how acrylic paint (used for my WH40k miniatures) would look on paper. The colour is Mephiston Red.
6: Oh boy, I used to do these tribal things ALL the flipping time.
Especially in school. I would draw these things for hours on end, I would even take time from my recess to complete a sketch. What’s that ocd? Oh stop it you. It’s normal.
I filled them black except for a few that I filled with red. I like the red-black combination.
I am not a person who enjoys routines, I can barely keep a regular schedule and I get bored easily but I find it oddly satisfying to doodle repetitive stuff. I like most kinds of patterns, but this one was my favourite. Even though it doesn’t show on this particular case.
Some miscellaneous thing I should mention and did not number: “Whatever is, is” written somewhere to the right of #5
obviously my nihilistic nature surfacing and declaring its disgust with any arbitrary notion of value or description. That or I might have just got ganked while overextending in League of Legends.
The gold patch of paint on the top right I have no idea what is and how I found it. I have a silver pen, but not a gold one, but the shape does look like a face with a big nose? FreudFreudFreud.
So that is my Shrink Corner for October. I know it’s not much but hey, who cares. If I could make some closing remarks and come to conclusions derived directly from my anus, I would say that the absence of straight lines and right angles might mean that I am not seeking security and safety and that I am instead searching for new directions in my life. The over-representation of the lower female half I think needs no explanation. And if it does I am a bit embarrassed to give it here.
Hopefully future additions will deal with more hot button issues such as: Why do all my relationships fail? Is it the stinky feet? , Why do I hate taking advice?, What is my favourite animal and why?, Do I believe in God? If not, is it the stinky feet?
All of this and more will definitely be answered (Disclaimer: probably not).