It would be nice if some of the posts on the Attic were a bit more personal in nature. Not in the Journal way , but in a more introspective fashion. Garret talking about Garret sort of deal. I find hard explaining how I feel and think most of the time and it is something I wish to work on improving.

I don’t know how exactly to start, but the internet says that I should start with what I know, and gradually move out of my comfort zone.
Without further ado, I would like to introduce:
Shrink Corner.
Hopefully a regular thing here.

I like drawing. I am not as good at it as I would want, mostly due to a lack of practice, but I always enjoy having a fresh sketchpad nearby and holding a pencil in my hand feels good. I often find myself doodling during load times, times of idleness in front of a screen and while waiting to respawn in League of Legends (not that I die often, I am the best Lady of Luminosity out there!).

It usually takes me about a month to fill up an A4 page with doodles, so I tend to have these weird doodle-tapestries that, with my zero expertise on anything psychological, think that reflect my mood and state of mind during that month.

So let’s look at the first of these, my doodle page for October, different points of interest numbered for your convenience:

Legs, Blue and YouTubers

1: Well there, October certainly seems to be a “Legs and Feet” month. I don’t think I have a particular fascination with the lower half of the body, but it does feel good drawing it. Few elegant “swishy” lines and you have yourself a nice pair of legs, a few criss-crossed lines and you also have a quite stylish set of fishnets.
Feet are not that easy, as can be seen written in the lower right, repeated like a madman’s scrawlings on the cell wall.
I guess that doesn’t make my “doesn’t have a thing for feet” case any stronger.
I don’t know what the patterns or the use of blue means. Green is much better, but there was a blue marker lying around quite often during October.

2: But look! Not only is he obsessed with feet and legs but he also has a morbid fascination with bones, bandages and spiderwebs.
Also note the flaming outline of the central leg figure, you know the one with the bone sticking out. Come to think of it, this is not a spine. What was I thinking…?

3: A nice bunch of seaweed.
Above that, the names of three YouTubers I follow that have had a “crisis” and gone off the grid for a while. Hutch was the first I watched and the reason I got into Call of Duty, but recently Necroscope86 has become the channel I watch more often. The first video of him I saw was a Let’s Play of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, a game namedropped in a Yahtzee and Gabe Let’s Play. Oh, the chain of references.

4: I could never draw animals very well, I find the front part to be equally hard. I kinda like this doodle though. It’s a hippomantis. Well, half a hippomantis anyway.

5: This is my first attempt to see how acrylic paint (used for my WH40k miniatures) would look on paper. The colour is Mephiston Red.

6: Oh boy, I used to do these tribal things ALL the flipping time.
Especially in school. I would draw these things for hours on end, I would even take time from my recess to complete a sketch. What’s that ocd? Oh stop it you. It’s normal.
I filled them black except for a few that I filled with red. I like the red-black combination.
I am not a person who enjoys routines, I can barely keep a regular schedule and I get bored easily but I find it oddly satisfying to doodle repetitive stuff. I like most kinds of patterns, but this one was my favourite. Even though it doesn’t show on this particular case.

Some miscellaneous thing I should mention and did not number: “Whatever is, is” written somewhere to the right of #5
obviously my nihilistic nature surfacing and declaring its disgust with any arbitrary notion of value or description. That or I might have just got ganked while overextending in League of Legends.
The gold patch of paint on the top right I have no idea what is and how I found it. I have a silver pen, but not a gold one, but the shape does look like a face with a big nose? FreudFreudFreud.

So that is my Shrink Corner for October. I know it’s not much but hey, who cares. If I could make some closing remarks and come to conclusions derived directly from my anus, I would say that the absence of straight lines and right angles might mean that I am not seeking security and safety and that I am instead searching for new directions in my life. The over-representation of the lower female half I think needs no explanation. And if it does I am a bit embarrassed to give it here.

Hopefully future additions will deal with more hot button issues such as: Why do all my relationships fail? Is it the stinky feet? , Why do I hate taking advice?, What is my favourite animal and why?, Do I believe in God? If not, is it the stinky feet?

All of this and more will definitely be answered (Disclaimer: probably not).
Stay tuned.

~Garret