[ Embarrassing, don’t read ]

Posted on by December 4, 2013
4

I’ve been here before. I’ve walked this road. (+)
I am not doing much with my life these days, I can barely muster enough energy every day to do a small percentage of my “Apply to the damn MA programme” quest.

Granted I was leading the Celts to a path of glory through the millennia, fighting and outsmarting the Babylonians and trying to create a dominant culture and win the hearts and minds of the world.

World domination aside,I am not doing much,and I know what follows next. A pledge.

And this is a pledge of sorts, very much like the pledge that spawned this here webzone. I am not posting it on the Journal , I believe it is more fitting here.

First of all let me just say, I have this knee jerk reaction against any form of self-improvement, I think it is because admitting you want to improve would imply admitting you are not content with the how you are now.
I “know” this is not reasonable, but that knowledge is not enough for me not to have that reaction.

But despite my acknowledgement of that reaction, I rarely do anything about it.

This is not one of these times though. I feel the bubbling urge to do something and change certain aspects of my daily life in order to improve my monthly life.

I could describe what I would like to do in an ideal week, it would involve daily exercise, drawing and maintenance of this site, but I feel bad talking about things that turn out to be nothing more than a what if.
I know it is possible, but…

Sigh… I am almost ready to change my mind on this, second day of writing tends to do that.
Anyway, enough beating around the bush (har har, you don’t know that it is a pun yet) here comes the pledge.
Okay, here it goes. I am starting the NoFap thing…
Yes ladies and gentlefolk, I am that desperate for motivation, I will not go into detail about my wanking timetable cause I feel uncomfortable talking about icky stuff like that, but I am at a point where I would rather try something that might not work than not trying something that would work.

I will not set additional goals for a variety of reasons, chief of which is to see if I am actually getting any additional “energy”. If I see any improvement , I will share my findings here.

Will this be an embarrassing attempt to do something that could be accomplished by just “getting of my ass and doing something!”?

I honestly don’t know.

But just to be safe, I should make another post quickly so that this is not the first thing my numerous visitors see when the enter the Attic.

~Garret,

[ Doctor Who ]

Posted on by November 28, 2013
1

I saw the Day of the Doctor 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who the other day and felt like sharing my tuppence about it.

I think I first watched Dr. Who after I had finished Buffy when I was in search of another big sprawling show I can dive into. Before that it was only something that my father mentioned that “He watched occasionally when he was studying in Manchester and that it starred Tom Baker”.
I was initially pleasantly surprised by how epic and goosebump inducing the episodes where and for a while I thought I found my next favourite show.
The doctor was interesting, smart, had hot companions and a uniquely cool persona that, admittedly, I have not found in any other show.
Plus, I felt cool watching a popular Brit “sci-fi” show that at the time nobody seem to knew about.

But then things started to fall apart. The doctor was cool and badass, but it seemed like that was his mode of operation. All the time. Cool as fuck. Every day. Yawn.

Most episodes would start with a cool premise, granted, and then all hell would break loose and the stakes would be raised and then…

…the Doctor would come up with some brilliant, non-violent, extremely convoluted way and very poorly explained solution (with techno-babble that makes Star Trek sound like it was written by Stephen Hawking) that will save everything and kill nobody and probably making him look even more awesome and cool while doing so.

Don’t get me wrong that is not bad , especially for climaxes, but when it happens every time, the impact is lessened with each episode.
It is the same problem I have with superhero comics. Batman , for example, is unable to surprise and ,as a result, engage me anymore. I know he is brooding, I know he will always be one step ahead of everybody else, I know that he is prepared for everything, I know he has a thing for Robin and Cat-woman, I know he will always win in the end, therefore Batman is boring.

The 10th Doctor. Played by , quite possible, the most charming person on the planet.

The 10th Doctor. Played by , quite possibly, the most charming person on the planet.

I feel very similarly for the Doctor.
I can’t even remember how many times I’ve seen an episode where the Doctor has saved the world. saved the universe, saved all of time and space, saved a galaxy or a planet. It is a real shame when you make something that is supposed to be special and climactic, mundane and boring. Perhaps we are asking too much from kid’s programs.

Another very reasonable and extremely well put argument about Doctor Who that delves deeper on the subject of the weird deification of our , let’s be honest, simplistic childhood heroes, be it the Doctor or Winnie the Pooh, Batman or the Transformers into something more than what they are, is made by the brilliant David Mitchell and you can watch it by clicking these words.

But it is the Doctor’s 50th anniversary, so let’s forget all that negative stuff, lets wrap ourselves in huge scarves, wear the fezzes and sing-along the opening tune.
As a tribute I will list everything I like about this show.

1) The Doctor really is a pacifist.
Many heroes claim to be fighting the for the “Good Guys”.
Of course this claim is often brought into question when our main hero is
beating up the “Bad Guy’s” until their faces are blue.
And I am not one to criticize an anti-hero, but I keep thinking about Superman,the American version
of a pacifist, who will not kill, sure, but he can beat people to a pulp and destroy buildings
every other day. Then he has his “Superman turns evil” stories every Friday.
Doctor Who on the other hand, is a pacifist through and through.
It doesn’t feel like he is “not allowed” to kill.
He has killed.
Billions.
And that is the reason he doesn’t want to kill anymore.
Not because the writers want to market his stories to kids.
So yea, the Doctor basically kicks Superman’s ass when it comes to pacifism.

(But Jean Luc Picard is better than both. That though, is a story to be told in another post…)

2) The Doctor is very British, but just enough.
The Doctor manages to be the quintessential eccentric British aristocrat. He is an adventurer,
a scholar and a gentleman. He has a refined taste and a very British (as far as I can tell)
outlook on things. At the same time the show has this global, nay, universal feel to it. The
Doctor might prefer Britain, sure, but he seems to enjoy himself on every planet and time he
ends up at. This show could have been a completely British thing.
Instead it is just British enough for Brits to feel proud about it, but also accessible by people
all over the world. That is something.

I love this woman.

Not relevant to any of my bullet points, but I love her.

3)That goosebump moment.
Yes, the explanation might be paper thin, yes the “awesomeness out of nowhere” of the third
act might be as predictable as the bloody tides, but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel a tingling
sensation,despite my rational mind trying to hold me back, when the Doctor finally comes up
with a brilliant idea and announces it to all the bad guys that are stunned by his
awesomeness in a speech usually ending with a masturbatory :
“… cause I am THE DOCTOR”.
This show knows how to thrill, provided you don’t think about it too much.

4) It is mature on the things that matter most.
Last but not least I like the way that the show deals with issues that would make any similar
American show quiver in it’s homophobic cowboy boots. Take for example the character of
Jack Harkness, played by John Barrowman, an immortal time traveller, who in a way that is
very true to his character, is not very fussy about with whom he dances with.
By that obviously I mean that he will have sex with anything and anyone.

And he is not some silly comic-relief sidekick, his pansexuality is a core element of how cool
this character is.
Captain Jack Harkness is one of the badassiest badasses in the history of badasses, one of
the few characters on the show that often outshine the Doctor himself.

So yes, these are my , mixed I admit, feelings about Doctor Who.
It is cheesy, it is dumb.
It has a continuity that is as solid as Adventure Time’s and it is often too stuck up it’s own ass to actually come up with new, exciting ideas.
But when it does come up with the right ideas… oh boy is it exciting.
Episodes like The Empty Child and Blink are , as far as I am concerned, artistic masterpieces.
Right up there with The Body and Conversations With Dead People from Buffy, The Best of Both Worlds from The Next Generation and every Firefly episode.

So, in conclusion, I am glad Doctor Who is still around.

All the annoying things that might turn me off, often for long periods of time, are still there, but that does not change the fact that Doctor Who is a unique show, with it’s heart in the right place, and like all unique things, the world would be a duller place without it.

Long live the Doctor.

~Garret

[ View ]

Posted on by November 28, 2013
Reply

I am not very familiar with making time-lapse videos. Even though I find them fascinating.
So today I decided to start making a few, the first one of which you can see above these words. (Disable adblock or whatever might prevent embedding).
It is crudely made and I would like to make more of them, especially creepy ones.

~Garret

[ Shrink Corner: October ]

Posted on by November 28, 2013
3

It would be nice if some of the posts on the Attic were a bit more personal in nature. Not in the Journal way , but in a more introspective fashion. Garret talking about Garret sort of deal. I find hard explaining how I feel and think most of the time and it is something I wish to work on improving.

I don’t know how exactly to start, but the internet says that I should start with what I know, and gradually move out of my comfort zone.
Without further ado, I would like to introduce:
Shrink Corner.
Hopefully a regular thing here.

I like drawing. I am not as good at it as I would want, mostly due to a lack of practice, but I always enjoy having a fresh sketchpad nearby and holding a pencil in my hand feels good. I often find myself doodling during load times, times of idleness in front of a screen and while waiting to respawn in League of Legends (not that I die often, I am the best Lady of Luminosity out there!).

It usually takes me about a month to fill up an A4 page with doodles, so I tend to have these weird doodle-tapestries that, with my zero expertise on anything psychological, think that reflect my mood and state of mind during that month.

So let’s look at the first of these, my doodle page for October, different points of interest numbered for your convenience:

October Doodles

Legs, Blue and YouTubers

1: Well there, October certainly seems to be a “Legs and Feet” month. I don’t think I have a particular fascination with the lower half of the body, but it does feel good drawing it. Few elegant “swishy” lines and you have yourself a nice pair of legs, a few criss-crossed lines and you also have a quite stylish set of fishnets.
Feet are not that easy, as can be seen written in the lower right, repeated like a madman’s scrawlings on the cell wall.
I guess that doesn’t make my “doesn’t have a thing for feet” case any stronger.
I don’t know what the patterns or the use of blue means. Green is much better, but there was a blue marker lying around quite often during October.

2: But look! Not only is he obsessed with feet and legs but he also has a morbid fascination with bones, bandages and spiderwebs.
Also note the flaming outline of the central leg figure, you know the one with the bone sticking out. Come to think of it, this is not a spine. What was I thinking…?

3: A nice bunch of seaweed.
Above that, the names of three YouTubers I follow that have had a “crisis” and gone off the grid for a while. Hutch was the first I watched and the reason I got into Call of Duty, but recently Necroscope86 has become the channel I watch more often. The first video of him I saw was a Let’s Play of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, a game namedropped in a Yahtzee and Gabe Let’s Play. Oh, the chain of references.

4: I could never draw animals very well, I find the front part to be equally hard. I kinda like this doodle though. It’s a hippomantis. Well, half a hippomantis anyway.

5: This is my first attempt to see how acrylic paint (used for my WH40k miniatures) would look on paper. The colour is Mephiston Red.

6: Oh boy, I used to do these tribal things ALL the flipping time.
Especially in school. I would draw these things for hours on end, I would even take time from my recess to complete a sketch. What’s that ocd? Oh stop it you. It’s normal.
I filled them black except for a few that I filled with red. I like the red-black combination.
I am not a person who enjoys routines, I can barely keep a regular schedule and I get bored easily but I find it oddly satisfying to doodle repetitive stuff. I like most kinds of patterns, but this one was my favourite. Even though it doesn’t show on this particular case.

Some miscellaneous thing I should mention and did not number: “Whatever is, is” written somewhere to the right of #5
obviously my nihilistic nature surfacing and declaring its disgust with any arbitrary notion of value or description. That or I might have just got ganked while overextending in League of Legends.
The gold patch of paint on the top right I have no idea what is and how I found it. I have a silver pen, but not a gold one, but the shape does look like a face with a big nose? FreudFreudFreud.

So that is my Shrink Corner for October. I know it’s not much but hey, who cares. If I could make some closing remarks and come to conclusions derived directly from my anus, I would say that the absence of straight lines and right angles might mean that I am not seeking security and safety and that I am instead searching for new directions in my life. The over-representation of the lower female half I think needs no explanation. And if it does I am a bit embarrassed to give it here.

Hopefully future additions will deal with more hot button issues such as: Why do all my relationships fail? Is it the stinky feet? , Why do I hate taking advice?, What is my favourite animal and why?, Do I believe in God? If not, is it the stinky feet?

All of this and more will definitely be answered (Disclaimer: probably not).
Stay tuned.

~Garret

[ Journal Online ]

Posted on by November 28, 2013
Reply

Are you interested in the life and times of Garret and want to check ’em out in real-ish time?!
Do you want to stalk Garret but just can’t bother with all the outdoor bits?

Are you thirsty for more Garret info!?

THEN LOOK NO FURTHER , well, look a bit above this post where, through the magic of WordPress, it says: JOURNAL.

There you will find everything daily updates written by none other than ME, yes, you heard it here first folks.

~Garret

[ Killing Time ]

Posted on by November 14, 2013
Reply

It is 2 AM, thunder is painting the sky purple, its sound a fitting soundtrack to my plight.
I have suffered one of the worst fates ever suffered by man.
There is no point beating around the bush, there is no hot water and now I am cursed to wait, to wait until my time is due. Wait until I can shower.
Such a cruel and simple analogy to the Danse Macabre we all take part in.

So in order to pass the time I’ll watch a random YouTube video with the help of this site and document my impressions of it here.
Okay, let’s see the video.

Some guy putting a broom in those lockers I always see in movies taking place in the States.
I wonder, why can’t kids there carry all the stuff in a bag like we do here in Greece?
I guess it’s healthier for the back and all but still, what about studying at home?
Anyway, let’s move on with our protagonist, a teen, let’s call him Brad, he looks like a Brad.
He also looks like a young Theon Greyjoy from the GoT TV show.
Oh, it’s not a broom, it’s a hockey stick.
Brad opens the locker.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
WHAT THE FUCK! A disembodied head on the top shelf, WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY!
Okey, get a grip Garret.
It is talking. I can’t make out what they are saying, the head is missing a tooth.
Probably lost it the same time he lost the rest of the body.
There seems to be a sort of master-slave relationship going on between Brad and the Head.
The Head asks him if he got something, an ingredient for some ghastly business I bet, Brad answers almost frozen in fear.
After confirming that Brad did get what was needed, the Head goes off in a laughing fit.
The empty hallway echoing with mad, insane shrieks of laughter,the Championship will be theirs…All theirs.
Madness… Horror… Death.
I can’t go on.

Epilogue

Thunder and lightning woke Garret up…
He was wearing a bathrobe, sitting on his desk…
That’s odd, he thought. Had he been drinking? No, not tonight.
Ah, he remembered, he was waiting for the water heater to do what it was supposed to.
But… what happened? He had no memory of the past hour. Only a vague sense of dread.
In the glow of the screen he could see his latest post, he read through it in shock.
It was as if he was reading it for the first time? Had he written it? Was this some kind of joke?
Who knows… weirder things have happened.
He got up and decided to go take that much delayed shower.

thE chAmPIoNsHiP wiLl bE oUrsS… aLL OUrS……

~Garret

[Review: Song of Saya]

Posted on by November 14, 2013
Reply

I played through Nitroplus’ visual novel Song of Saya and to my surprise I was still thinking about it days after.

Written by the same guy who wrote Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Song of Saya is the story of Fuminori, a man suffering from brain damage caused by experimental surgery that saved his life after a near-fatal car accident. As a result his perception and senses are completely warped, causing him to see the world as a living hell. Intestines, blood, vomit and pus cover every surface of his world, his friends, he can hardly call them like that anymore, are deformed monstrosities that speak with screeches and other barely understandable sounds and smell of rotten meat and shit, which often oozes out of pores from their face and body. The only thing keeping Fuminori “sane” is Saya, an almost angelic-looking little girl. She is the only person he sees as a normal human being. Saya claims to be alone like him and they move in together.

The rest of the game is a steep descent into all sorts of dark and disturbing places.

Song of Saya was the first visual novel I’ve ever played, seriously at least. I mean ,okay, after a few beers I might have checked the odd hentai game but I can’t say it feels the same. So I can’t say if this was a good visual novel or not, the amount of interaction is minimal, with only 2 choices throughout the game, albeit with big consequences for every choice.

The story is told in first person, usually from Fuminori’s point of view. That makes it easy for us to sympathize with him and actually glimpse the disgusting reality he is in. When we see things in Fuminori-vision, sounds are distorted, dissonant and images are noisy and gory. The images are very gory but leave most of the things happening to the imagination. That is one of the strong points of the Song of Saya. The descriptions of all the horrible things happening are almost Lovecraftan in their lack of detail, as a result the player’s/reader’s mind is left to form it’s own horrifying images, a sign of every good horror story.

Saya

Cutest lil’ Horror

The Song of Saya is cruel, twisted and does NOT hold itself back. It is most definitely not for those who are easily offended. There is gore, nudity and pretty much everything depraved and shocking. Surprisingly, every cruel and sick act is justified in a satisfying way that serves the story instead of crippling it with out of character moments. It is to the game’s huge credit that it managed to keep me interested in and feeling for Fuminori and Saya every step of their descent into completely evil-character territory.
I would also like to make a small mention to Yoh, one of Fuminori’s “friends” who is without a doubt one of the saddest characters in the history of sad characters.

Song of Saya manages to become beautiful at times, and not in a morbid, sick way but in a profoundly deep and honest one. Simple, one-dimensional (spoilers: no pun intended) villains are one of my biggest turn offs and i found Song of Saya to be one of the best examples of the opposite. I might go so far as to say that I’ll be exploring more Visual Novels.

Disgusting, shocking, not-too-terrifying, cruel, but ultimately a very moving and heartfelt story from a point of view we don’t often see things from.

If you think you can handle it, I fully recommend Song of Saya, it’s a rare gem.

~Garret

[ How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Macho Fantasy. ]

Posted on by November 14, 2013
2

I honestly thought I had gotten over the hyper macho fantasy genre of “my-penis-is-so-large-it-needs-a-power-armor-the-size-of-a-car-as-a-natural-habitat”.

It’s not that I dislike it anymore, but, man, WarCraft and StarCraft used to excite me and impress me.
I was passionate about the stories, the lore, the universe. I read the books, I was subscribed for a couple of years to the DC WoW Comic, spent many a night reading various WarCraft wikis and the amount of time I’ve spent in WoW is easily greater than most of my relationships.

That is not the case anymore (I mean I don’t spend as much time in WoW, not that I started to have longer relationships).
I did not want to grow out of it, I don’t like change (more on that in an upcoming article) but I found myself gradually caring less and less about these sort of stories. It’s not that I dislike them, it’s just that they don’t satisfy me like they used to.

In more recent , but not completely unrelated news–bear with me, I have been making some half-arsed attempts to reduce the time I waste online, (failing miserably).
Getting a website is one of these attempts, a conscious effort to read more books is another, as was my decision to start miniature painting.
Having heard of the Warhammer universe, I browsed Games Workshop’s website a bit, and within a few days I had decided to get my hands on a few Dark Angels and some acrylics.
It was either that or knitting.

As this was a choice driven by completely non-fantasy reasons, you can imagine my surprise when I found myself actually getting interested in Warhammer 40k universe. As a franchise I have been subtly avoiding it, even though I had a few chances to get into it over the years, I never actually made the jump and start an army.
And here I was, learning about the different races and armies, checking out the different miniatures,units, heroes, structures, codices delving into wikis trying to get a crash course in the WH40k history in the wee hours of the morning.

Yesterday I completed my first Dark Angel Space Marine. I do realize that the name sounds like the wet dream of a goth-sci-fi-army brat, but GOSH DARN-IT he looks kick-ass.

Burn the heretic. Kill the mutant. Purge the unclean.

Who’s the best tiny fearless killing machine?! You! Yes, You!


I don’t think this Warhammer phase will last long, or at least run deep. I guess it is pure escapism and power fantasies, but I had forgotten how much I loved them.

~Garret

[ Halloween: DEVICE6 ]

Posted on by November 24, 2013
5

Halloween, Harrowing, All Hallow’s Eve, Samhain, Hallow’s End.

Don’t quote me on that but I think we’re the only species that likes to scare the crap out of themselves for recreation.
Maybe cats too, but they are weird anyway.
I’ve never had a cat, I am sure I am a dog person.
Well, as sure as one can be of being a dog person when one has never owned a cat.
I guess you know these things though.
I am pretty positive I would be a great Velociraptor owner.

Anyway! Halloween, horror, terror!

In an attempt to get the ball rolling on this blog thing and loosen up my fingers, I would like to talk about a game I discovered recently, a game with a very distinct and rare kind of creepiness.

DEVICE6  is one of the weirdest games I have played in a while. I paused a bit before calling it a game, even though a game it most certainly is, but my first instinct wato call it something… like an interactive… kinetic typography…book/app?

This is the lovechild of Myst and the House of Leaves, DEVICE6 for the iOS by SIMOGO.

It is the story of Anna, a woman that wakes up in a castle, with no memory of how she got there (confirming that amnesia is the second most common condition for adventure game protagonists, first being compulsive kleptomania).
The castle is devoid of life, but not of signs of life. That alone is enough to establish that something is off from the get-go. Add to that an air of 50s cold war paranoia and a dash of very bizarre settings and scenes and you have yourself a quite unsettled Garret.

There are no graphics ,not in the normal sense at least, to speak of. But there is design, and aesthetics, and beauty and , boy does, it come in spades.
Text is the primary way of storytelling in DEVICE6, it is a map , a compass and a narrator, assisted by brilliant design in the layout and clever use of pictures, sounds and interactivity.
    You go
        down
          dark
            and
             silent
                staircases and flip and turn the device when you make turns and other changes in direction. There is no UI, inventory or health. Pictures and sounds can hide clues that will help Anna proceed and delve deeper in the mystery that is DEVICE6.

All this is wrapped in a very self-aware narrative with a brilliant sense of design. Have a look at a teaser to get an idea.

This is the kind of horror I enjoy the most these days. I am not impressed by jump scares or gross outs. I like my horror to be subtle but deep. DEVICE6 delivers on that end remarkably. It will not haunt your dreams or make you check under the bed. But play it alone, in your bed at night and you’re in for a unique, high quality and stylishly creepy experience.

~Garret