[ The UnBORED ]

I love crappy horror movies, it is a well established fact.

The Unborn delivers on that promise adequately enough:

Horrible dialogue?
“Do you believe you can be haunted by someone that isn’t born yet?” –Check

-Horrible Plot that makes no sense?
They make a point of establishing that this “demon outside our universe” is something that predates religion, but they kill it with a plain exorcism. –Check

I mean, “thing that is not from our universe” is such a great premise. It could be Cthulhu, it could be an octopus with a bicycle instead of a reproductive organ, it could be the personification of a sneeze.
But no, it’s just a creepy kid. That’s all.

A few creepy visuals but nothing that floats in the sea of stupid jumpscares and silly cliches.

Let’s examine the poster, I think it speaks for itself but I can speak for itself a bit too.

The Unborn

Clearly selling the horror

A few things bug me about the poster.

How can we see the reflection of the girl when the camera is directly behind her?

Either the kid is way taller than her or he is stepping on a stool or something. The latter would kill any morsel of horror still remaining on this movie.

There must be some spring-loaded closing mechanism for the mirror cause everybody seems to get their fingers caught, judging by the blood.
Oh, sorry, it isn’t blood, it’s just some REALLY lame Photoshop brushes.

The girl looks quite distraught but she is not looking at something directly, certainly not the boy. It seems to me like she just remembered something she forgot.

AND OF COURSE THE BUTT, clearly unintentional.

All in all, boring movie, filled to the brim with plot cliches, horror cliches and of course a prime example of the Teal/Orange plague that ails Hollywood for half a decade now.

2 Stars.


Garret’s Log,Supplemental

I also finished the second season of Game of Cards, I mean House of Cards. I binged it these two days. A solid show, Kevin Spacey is just amazing as Frank Underwood and even though the politics part became a bit too… thick for me to follow at certain points, I am still amazed at how the show and cast make us root for the most manipulative evil bastard around , I guess we are programmed to identify with protagonists.
The ending was… satisfying. Hellz Yea.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *