[ Embarrassing, don’t read ]

I’ve been here before. I’ve walked this road. (+)
I am not doing much with my life these days, I can barely muster enough energy every day to do a small percentage of my “Apply to the damn MA programme” quest.

Granted I was leading the Celts to a path of glory through the millennia, fighting and outsmarting the Babylonians and trying to create a dominant culture and win the hearts and minds of the world.

World domination aside,I am not doing much,and I know what follows next. A pledge.

And this is a pledge of sorts, very much like the pledge that spawned this here webzone. I am not posting it on the Journal , I believe it is more fitting here.

First of all let me just say, I have this knee jerk reaction against any form of self-improvement, I think it is because admitting you want to improve would imply admitting you are not content with the how you are now.
I “know” this is not reasonable, but that knowledge is not enough for me not to have that reaction.

But despite my acknowledgement of that reaction, I rarely do anything about it.

This is not one of these times though. I feel the bubbling urge to do something and change certain aspects of my daily life in order to improve my monthly life.

I could describe what I would like to do in an ideal week, it would involve daily exercise, drawing and maintenance of this site, but I feel bad talking about things that turn out to be nothing more than a what if.
I know it is possible, but…

Sigh… I am almost ready to change my mind on this, second day of writing tends to do that.
Anyway, enough beating around the bush (har har, you don’t know that it is a pun yet) here comes the pledge.
Okay, here it goes. I am starting the NoFap thing…
Yes ladies and gentlefolk, I am that desperate for motivation, I will not go into detail about my wanking timetable cause I feel uncomfortable talking about icky stuff like that, but I am at a point where I would rather try something that might not work than not trying something that would work.

I will not set additional goals for a variety of reasons, chief of which is to see if I am actually getting any additional “energy”. If I see any improvement , I will share my findings here.

Will this be an embarrassing attempt to do something that could be accomplished by just “getting of my ass and doing something!”?

I honestly don’t know.

But just to be safe, I should make another post quickly so that this is not the first thing my numerous visitors see when the enter the Attic.



[ Embarrassing, don’t read ] — 4 Comments

  1. Enough beating around the bush!! XD

    You are going to get urges. Overcome them by doing the things you want to do more often or improve on (exercising, sketching, reading). Follow the relevant subreddit, it will give you strength and motivation. Block triggers. Wet dreams are allowed.

    This is an important decision, if only because you’re trying something different that sounds crazy. I have only positive results and effects to report but it’s a very subjective experience, ie I can’t objectively tell you why and how it works… but it does. So make a habit of noticing what changes in your life, behaviour and vitality, and good luck! :)

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